Unfortunately, I was reminded recently about the importance of losing gracefully.
The opportunity is was one I’ve been working toward for truly years… it was significant not only in monetary terms – it was significant from growing my business relationship with the customer (because they do buy something from me, they are a customer… not a prospect – that is a conversation for another day).
I lost; they went with another option, another company.
At the end of the conversation, I thanked the stakeholder who I was speaking with for letting me know.
She replied, “it’s the least I could do – I knew you’d still be pleasant and easy to talk to.”
I was a bit taken aback. I really didn’t consider any other option… so I chuckled and said, “if I gnashed my teeth, screamed, and cried – would that change your mind and make you go with me?”
To which she belly laughed, saying “no, no I guess it wouldn’t. In fact, we might even move the business we already do together away if you did.”
I’m not graceful… at least not physically. I am glad I’ve learned to lose gracefully.
Here are the lessons I’ve learned by losing gracefully:
- I get referrals when I lose deals (if I ask) – typically to people who are a good fit to work with me.
- If something goes wrong with the choice they’ve made – I’m their first call if who they’ve gone with doesn’t fix it.
- Many times, something small comes up and I’m their first call because they trust me.
- In a world where most opportunities have multiple stakeholders making the decision… when someone who believes in me switches jobs, I earn their business then.
- There is ALWAYS a next time.
Important Safety Tip (perhaps to myself): none of this means I LIKE to lose.
Sometimes I will share that I’m disappointed, the stakeholder is never surprised. What always shocks me is that they are surprised that I lose gracefully.
Perhaps the most important point about losing gracefully is keeping the appearance of being calm – this is the “emotional detachment to the outcome” I often talk about.
Because I like things in threes… here are my Three Inside Sales Tips to Losing Gracefully
- Mute and take a deep breath.
- Maintain vocal equilibrium.
- Wait to fall apart until you’ve hung up.
Gracefully yours,
Lynn
ps: working on Emotional Intelligence is probably the most important part of losing gracefully. If you haven’t read Colleen Stanley’s book Emotional Intelligence for Sales Success, pick it up. Or, listen to her Sales Machine NYC talk on Emotional Intelligence – Soft Skills That Produce Hard Sales Results.
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