When Do Goals Become Real?
Last week I revisited a classic expert mantra:
“State your goals to others because, by verbalizing them, we make them real.”
And honestly… I couldn’t let it go.
I started wondering:
Is that equally true for introverts as it is for extroverts?
Or are we just repeating advice that only works for the loudest people in the room?
Setting Goals: Same Game, Different Playbooks
Digging in, I found some fascinating distinctions in how extroverts and introverts set goals — not just achieve them.
Extroverts:
“For extroverts, the process of goal setting is done the same way you do everything else – by talking through it… Goal setting for extroverts is usually a group experience.”
~ Julie Perrine, CAP-OM, MBTI Certified
If you’re wired this way, you’re probably thinking out loud constantly. That’s not noise — it’s processing. The key is to bring in people who can mirror, challenge, and sharpen your ideas. Think: coach, mentor, team lead, your favorite “iron sharpens iron” buddy.
Introverts:
“For introverts, the process of goal setting is done in a more reflective manner. You need time to think about and reflect on your goals to do your best stuff.”
~ Julie Perrine, CAP-OM, MBTI Certified
This isn’t just a “quiet version” of extroversion. It’s a different mechanism. Introspection is the work. It’s not until later — sometimes much later — that an introvert says it out loud. But make no mistake: they’ve been shaping it, refining it, and committing the whole time.
So When Do Goals Become Real?
Short answer?
When they’re articulated.
Whether you’re saying it to:
- yourself,
- your coach,
- your manager,
- or the post-it note on your mirror…
Articulation moves the goal from concept to commitment.
Here’s what that means in practice:
- What is your goal? (Clarity counts more than cleverness.)
- Why do you want it? (Desire fuels discipline.)
- What are you willing to give up to get it? (Yes, something has to give.)
- What actions are you willing to take every day? (And do you have the guts to keep going when it’s inconvenient?)
If you can’t articulate it — you can’t achieve it.
But once you can, you begin to make real progress.
Don’t Let Your Style Become an Excuse
Whether you’re an extrovert or introvert, don’t make the process harder than it needs to be. We all have different comfort zones when it comes to sharing. That’s okay.
Don’t confuse “comfort zone” with “progress zone.”
If you want to win, get accountability. Even if it’s just with one person — someone you trust to remind you why you started.
Imagine the Process — and Then Step Into It
- Can you visualize your own process? Not just setting a goal… but articulating it.
- Does it make you excited — or nervous?
- Does saying it out loud increase your accountability — or your anxiety?
Whatever your answers: they matter. That awareness helps you create a goal system that works for you — and inspires action.
And hey, don’t wait for perfect. Set a goal you can reach. Then set one that scares you. Miss, reset, adjust, keep going.
The point isn’t to be flawless — it’s to stay forward-facing.
Want help getting clear or staying committed?
That’s what I do — with individuals and teams who are ready to aim higher.
Let’s talk.
Or if you know someone stuck in goal-setting quicksand, share this newsletter and they can subscribe here.
We can make this happen!
Lynn
P.S. If you read this and your gut clenched a little… that’s not a bad thing. It might mean you’re ready to take yourself seriously. Get after it.