Years ago, I took the CliftonStrengths Assessment. Back then it was called StrengthsFinder, where you are rated on a list of 34 talents.
When I looked at my results, empathy was 34th… yup, dead last on my talents list. Having low empathy doesn’t mean I’m cold and unfeeling, though – compassion and empathy aren’t the same thing.
Going through the evaluation process showed me I had other talents I could – and must – focus on and develop into strengths for success.
Still, I wanted to learn more about empathy.
Which brings me to sales trainer and expert consultant Colleen Stanley.
The author of Growing Great Sales Teams and creator of the Ei Selling® System, Colleen Stanley is president of SalesLeadership, Inc. She is an international sales keynote speaker and has been recognized as one of the Top 50 Sales Bloggers in the world.
I’m lucky to have Colleen as one of my colleagues. We laugh a lot together, she inspires me, and she challenges the way I think. Especially when it comes to one of her favorite topics – Empathy.
In 2012 Colleen wrote Emotional Intelligence for Sales Success: Connect with Customers and Get Results.
Her book was a pioneer work in identifying the relationship between emotional intelligence, empathy skills, and sales excellence. This classic deserves a space on your bookshelf – it’s a great resource for all salespeople, no matter where you score on the empathy scale.
Colleen tells us that one important area where empathy can improve our results is when prospects challenge us on price.
Even experienced salespeople can go into fight-or-flight mode in this scenario. We often let emotions get away from us and feel out of control. We can get defensive or flustered, feel hurt, capitulate to demands, suggest discounts too quickly to “smooth things over” … or simply shut down emotionally.
By building our emotional intelligence (EI), we learn to master our emotional responses in a productive and appropriate way.
An article of Colleen’s that I found helpful is Why Salespeople Fail at Empathy.
Even for salespeople and managers who can control emotions and impulses, enhancing empathy skills can help:
- develop likability
- project trustworthiness
I encourage you to learn how to deepen ALL your emotional intelligence skills. Even if, like me, empathy isn’t an area you’re talented in – it will be time well spent.
All my best,
Lynn
P.S. I believe in rereading my favorite books to find new lessons about whatever is going on in work and life at the moment. Rereading also helps transport me back to those “aha” moments, so I can feel the magic and be refreshed at the well. As you build your sales skills, do you return to the classics on your bookshelf? Here are a few quotes (well, 23 quotes actually) about the benefits of rereading.
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