It may seem odd that I’m beginning by paraphrasing a quote from Mom’s minister Mother Carrie as we were talking about my Dad right after he died… or maybe it just seems odd to me. Mother Carrie said
“Alice, you certainly are well loved”
It stuck with me for two reasons:
The first is the honesty and truth of the statement – Mom certainly is well loved. It’s why we are all here celebrating her life and connection with us today.
The second is the reason – she loved well. In fact, looking back at my life – I think that one statement says everything about who she was.
In every role she played in life – daughter, sister, wife, mother, friend, confidant, teacher, woman – she filled our lives with a belief that no matter what – she was going to love us…
Which made admonishments, punishments, and disagreements we had almost hurt more; we all knew she loved us so much that she wouldn’t accept behavior that would hurt us – or anyone else.
I think it is also why her smile would light up a room when you walked in. Mom was always genuinely happy to see you and wanted you to know how much she adored you.
Her belief in me – and perhaps in you too – means I have always been willing to do things other people have found frightening. It is amazing what a gift BELIEF can be when given freely and completely:
When I doubted myself – she believed
When I was afraid – Mom was courageous
When I was unsure – she would smile
Here are a few of the lessons I learned from Mom, they may sound familiar to you as well:
- Tell people you love them.
- If you have to wait around, you might as well be playing cards… if you’re going to be alone, bring a book.
- Silliness is FUN, joyful, and can turn around someone’s day… if no one else’s, your own.
- Always apologize for exactly what you are sorry for (no more / no less).
- Courage can be quiet, it doesn’t have to be loud.
- Take everything you can as a complement – if they didn’t mean it as a complement, you’ll get to annoy them while saying thank you.
- Which brings us to… Being perfectly correct and polite in your behavior is also a way to deal with mean people.
- Equality isn’t achieved by treating all people exactly the same.
- Your gender isn’t relevant when deciding WHAT you can or want to do!
- Be kind ESPECIALLY when something doesn’t feel fair.
- Do your best work.
- To be treated the way you want to be treated – you have to stand up for yourself if you’re NOT.
- Laugh with your whole heart, body, and soul.
- Be Welcoming: of ideas, concepts, philosophies, and more importantly the people who bring them into your life
- If you don’t know the words, make them up to go with the tune.
And last but never least:
- There is ALWAYS a song for EVERY – and any – occasion.